2, 2, 2 posts in one

I love my longboard and cruising down the sidewalk at whatever pace I feel the energy for. I like to just surf and feel the way the wheels roll smoothly over the surface of the cement. It’s not as flashy as the smaller boards that chase and jump around the bowls and grind along coping, and I don’t feel the need to be adventurous and go down super steep dangerous hills. I’m fine taking my time and enjoying the ride. The skateboard park downtown is near the Platte river here and there is a nice long path that runs along side. The sidewalk rolls along with just enough up and down that the ride isn’t passive or thoughtless. And there are plenty of sights along the way to see. Why take up skateboarding again 20 years after breaking my tailbone doing it? Now I’m not afraid to do it at the pace that I enjoy. I don’t feel like I’m having to impress anyone, but can rather just take my time and do it because it’s fun.
Secondly, and completely unrelated, I’m thinking of my grandparents today. My grandfather, Papo, died 13 years ago. I was much too young to lose a parent, but life doesn’t always work the way we want it to. We don’t always get what we want even if it’s just one more day with a person we love. And that brings me to my other grandparent, NeeNee. She was a firm believer in letting the people you love know that you love them. She always stressed that regretting not saying something is a lot harder to cope with than living with saying something that was real and true like love is. I loved them because they were my parents and my friends. I hope all my friends and family know I love them because I do.

Funny Girl

I love my daughters sense of humor. It's just the best. Here's an example...

My boyfriend found a gross old Clif Bar that had expired (who knew they could) and he hid it in my purse. When I found it and he explained he'd intentionally hidden it there I proceded to hide it under his pillow. Since then it's been hidden all over the place. This morning I found it and asked my daughter to hide it for me. She looked at me, Clif Bar in hand, "Mom, how long is this so-called 'game' of yours going to continue?"



'nuff said on why she's so awesome!

When I was just a little girl.

My children were asking me about how things were when I was a child. I was thinking about it and telling them the things I remember about. And I came to realize just how much has changed in the last 37 years. The list kept going longer and longer. Everything from the types of television shows that were on, the sense of humor that was used, the band frequency for radio, the medium we listen to music on, and even just the way we pay for our basic needs.
I remember being a child and asking my grandmother about the things that had changed from the time she was a child until then. She was 49 years old than I so she’d had well over half a century to thing about the changes. There was a lot different. A LOT.
Then I think about the times my mother grew up in. She’s only 19 years older than I am, so certainly less of a span and I think there were some changes, but perhaps because she was so young when she had me not so much had changed. Most people had cars, there were TV’s, records, and kids were even wearing similar clothes. It just wasn’t as different as the span between my children and I in what changed.
So, where is this going? Maybe nowhere, but it just struck me as amazing about how many things had changed. I wonder if it’s just because we are so technology obsessed and the information age has created such a boom of “new.” I wonder what it will be like when my children have children and I wonder if they will have any frame of reference to the things I had as a child vs. what they will have. How exactly can you explain 8-Tracks after all?

Doggy style

My dog is going to be so sick either tonight or tomorrow. Why? Because he broke down the baby gates and got into the trash and ate a roasted chicken carcass and probably a good pound of ham that I tossed out. This is not going to be pretty. I just hope it doesn’t mean a trip to the vet. Greedy little punk.

Rules of the Nursery

A message to my co-workers…

I realize that there is no hope of creating stronger, brighter “you’s” but let’s just try to follow these simple steps so the workplace isn’t quite as much like a nursery as it is now.

1. When you are using the fax machine you have to dial a 9 to get an outside line. If it’s long distance that 9 must be followed by a 1. This is the rule everytime you use the fax machine. It doesn’t remember you. It’s a MACHINE.
2. When the printer says, “Out of Toner” you don’t need to come get me to tell me it’s broken. It’s not broken. You simply need to change the toner like the little light is prompting you to do.
3. Passover is not a diet. It’s a religious holiday.
4. The lemur is not an African cat. Please use Google before you make a mockery of yourself by trying to carry on a conversation that requires knowledge…of anything.
5. Yes, the tattoo hurt. No, you cannot see it.
6. While I realize that I may seem like I know everything surprisingly I don’t. So, if you need to find out some trite bullshit for your own personal comfort please do a Google search before annoying me with another idiotic question.
7. If you want another fucking case of diet coke then stop and the store and buy that cancer causing “drink” for yourself. “Human Resources” doesn’t not mean that I provide beverages or in any other way should service your base needs.
8. If you want me to do the things you ask of me then reciprocate once in awhile. I know most of you don’t know what the word reciprocate means, but see #6 before you ask me.
9. Please keep your personal life personal. I don’t care where you just got waxed, how much it hurt or how much you paid. I don’t care what color you are considering for your nails, hair or skin. I don’t share this with you so please reciprocate (see #8)
10. Coffee is not syrup. Please stop making it so. Not only does it waste the coffee grounds but no one drinks it or haven’t you noticed that you are pouring out most of a pot every stinkin’ morning?
11. Do not call me before 7 a.m. or after 6 p.m. weekdays or at all on the weekends. At these times I am parenting my children so they can be as much unlike you as possible. In other words, I’m trying to teach them to think and act for themselves and to grow into independent persons. If you simply look into doing that for yourself during these times it will be easy for you to not hassle me when I’m not on the clock.
12. I don’t have to like you to work with you. I’m polite because I have manners. Not because we are friends or because I like you.

Thank you for following these simple rules that will help us co-exist and for me not to dream of throttling you on a daily basis. Cheers.

stainlesssss

Yes, that's right! We have a stainless kitchen and our new fridge finally arrived on Saturday. And then it was promptly sent back to the warehouse. Why? Because despite our careful measurements based ont what the store told us that fucker didn't fit. It didn't fit until Dan took the banister and part of one of the door frames out. That's right! He tore down part of the house so I could have my fridge. It was redelivered today and is chillin' in the kitchen right NOW!! So, what was worth breaking a 120 year old house for? Look and see!! Now c'mon over and let me cook something for you! WooT!

I just got the most recent Yellowcard CD. I was listening and this song stood out to me. The lyrics were what got me. Here are some of them. Look up the rest if'n ya wanna.

Two Weeks to Twenty

Jimmy wasn't really popular
He had a couple of friends back home
And sooner or later they're all getting out so he had to join up alone
He was dreaming of the ivy league since he was only three feet tall
And get the hell out of jersey and then he would never look back at all

And then your hear'em say
That miles away
We lost another one that we sent with a gun
They're gonna miss him he was two weeks from twenty and there's still no shame
From the man to blame

Wednesday night at my house

Tonight we’ve been watching TV. My favorite show had a catch up marathon. “Top Chef” is so good. There is a lot of food on there that is much more complicated than the types of food that I prefer, but I love watching the dynamic of the various chefs. It’s just really fun to watch.

Then we started watching an old episode of Saturday Night Live. This episode has Lindsey Lohan in it. She has giant boobies. They are freckled. On a more interesting note I love Jimmy Fallon. There are a couple of reasons. Other than the fact that he’s just adorable I love it, love it, love it that he laughs during a lot of the skits. I don’t know why I like that so much, but I do.

O.K. that’s my blog and I’m sticking to it.

On blogging...

Sometimes I feel like my blog should be about my personal space. About things I am thinking or feeling, but so often those are things that I can’t see myself sharing with the world. It’s this block that makes me not blog so often I think. I end up just making statements about things I see wrong with the world or writing about nothing and that isn’t very interesting to read. I need to figure out a good balance between sharing my thoughts and ideas and doing it so that I am comfortable. I don’t know where this balance is so in the future blogs please be patient with my boring, mundane topics, the opinions/thoughts that might piss you off, or the times that I give way too much information.

However, I am feeling like I need to have this outlet because I am so wrapped up in this life of mine that I don’t reflect and I don’t do a lot of the things that make me feel like a beautiful, sexy, smart woman. I’m hoping that some of the reflection I get here will remind me of the things that I need that make me who I am. It’s hard to balance when there are so many people depending on me for this or that. I need to reflect in order to remember that I need me for this or that, too. It’s a hard balance.

The Slacker signs on...

I’m going to try to blog at least 3 times a week. I swear. No, no REEEEALY!!! I am. Wish me luck…

On that note, I cannot say enough about Amy’s cheese enchiladas. They are so friggin’ good. I always eat too much when I have these and then I end up feeling a bit gross after because I’ve eaten too much. It’s much better if I get the combo dealy they have at Whole Foods than the just enchiladas at Safeway because then I don’t get so disgustingly full.

Next up! Our new dog is so adorable, but she’s soooo onery. We’ve had to “Lily” proof the whole place until she adjusts to the fact she’s not going to be given up again. Poor pooch.

Lastly, my job has exploded. I started out not doing so much. Mostly petty office management. Now I basically do anything IT around here, Office management, H.R. AND the cherry on the top!? BABYSITTING!! Oh yeah…it’s a regular daycare some days. Oh well. I’m a fucking well paid babysitter. WooT!

k...this is the end to the worst blog post I've ever done. I swear I'll come up with this thing called content next time.

on friends

The idea of what I consider friendship to be has been presented to me a few times recently. I’ve been thinking about it a bit. I don’t have a lot of really close friends. A few. A handful. All of which were either founded during the time I was in the process of leaving my ex-husband or shortly there after. I didn’t have even a handful during the marriage so that’s how it goes. The friendships that I’ve taken the time to make and nurture are very dear to me and I don’t take them lightly. I don’t like the idea of being a casual friend. That isn’t a friend. That’s an acquaintance. Acquaintances are all fine and good, but you can’t turn to them for life. Moving, heartbreak, sincere discussion and feedback and sometimes in life these are things that everyone needs. It’s not about when the sun is shining and everything is fun, although that is important too. For me friendship, true friendship is through thick and thin. Through anger, frustration, whatever with that friend. You don’t stop mid-stream because it’s not a fun time anymore. Like everything it will be a fun time again at some point, but until it is a friend is there by your side. I love my friends. And I know they love me even when I’ve done something to really piss them off. So, when it’s all said and done for me friendship is about weathering AND enjoying life together. It’s not the shiny, casual petty stuff of acquaintances, but rather the nitty-gritty rough and tumble roller coaster. And it’s worth it.

Fellow Americans

Good work! Look what the government we support can be proud of! Yes, this is the government that represents YOU. Because of this when YOU travel abroad these are the images that YOU will be questioned about. Take a stand now and contact your Congressman and demand that our government be responsible for these images and the damage that has been done to our liberties.


Thanks Adam for reminding me again why I should maintain this rage. 'Preciate it!

Make them stop!!!

For the love of all that is holy in this world will my co-workers STOP talking about getting highlights, haircuts and waxing their privates and have a fucking intelligent conversation? I know they aren’t intellects or academics, but really…why do we have to go over the fact that they all spend about $200 a month on “upkeep?” WHY? I don’t need to know that their Brazilian wax wasn’t as painful this time or that they don’t even know what color of hair they REALLY have anymore.
You know those skits on late night talk shows where they go on the street and ask "normal" people easy questions like, "Who is Dick Cheney?" or “Name the capital of any country other than the U.S.” and they fail miserably? Yes....I work with those people. Don’t get me wrong, they are all productive workers and make a fairly good amount of money. They all do their jobs and live their lives. I just don’t understand why they have to torture me by discussing their lack of dimension on a constant basis. They need to spend more time on gaining a few high lights and low lights in their intellect rather than getting their hair colored yet again.

O.K. I’m done ranting.

The good news...

So, the good news is that tattoos last a lifetime. The bad news is that they fucking hurt. WooT!

My Boyfriend

Living in a world of commercial hype it seems like a lot of people we encounter in the world have bought in. They’ve decided that they need to commercialize themselves and create hype about how great they are. Then you run into someone who doesn’t feel the need to boast or brag about the things they do. They just do the things they enjoy and live a life without hype. This is my Dan. He’s not flashy. He’s goal driven, determined and yet has maintained a sense of humility about his accomplishments. He does the things he says he’s going to do. He’s honest and kind in his honesty. He puts people before money. He isn’t afraid to laugh aloud at himself and at life. And for all of the things he is I love him.

It Is What It Is

There are times in our lives where we just don’t get it whatever “it” might be. Whether it’s exactly what our 4th grade teacher is trying to teach us, a life lesson our parents are trying to help us understand, or later in life when we are trying to figure out things that everyone else seems to have mastered. My move to Colorado has been that way for me. There were times where I just didn’t get it. I felt myself struggling to still grasp the idea of what it meant to live in Colorado again both health-wise and financially. Being a single mom with few friends near was such a frustrating struggle. I ran into situations romantically that I didn’t get and no matter how I reworked it in my head I just ended up falling and trying over again. In the end, it just took patience and standing on the couch to get it. It took patience from my friends in seeing me fall and fall and fall before I got it. It took patience from my family dealing with all my frustration and tears. For those that stood by (sometimes pissed off and scowling) and let me figure it out and put up with it I owe you so much. Thanks y’all. I love you.
For those who lost patience and gave up on me it is what it is. I figured it out. I got it.

On turning 37

Today started out great and then it totally sucked. That's about it.

There is no black history in the United States.

As we progress through the month of February that has been deemed "Black History Month," and I read articles such as this one I become more convinced that there should be no black history in the United States. Please don't misunderstand me. I don't mean that we ignore the contributions that black Americans have made to our country, but that we include them along side the other historical figures and events that affected them and then in turn were affected by them. The whole of our history includes black americans and not as a seperate subject that we celebrate one short month a year, but as threads in the fabric of this country that are as intertwined as those of white, asian, hispanic and all others.

the future

The core of an apple sits next to some cash and my coffee mug. Drive, consumption and capital. I've recently discovered that I don't have many goals right now. Nothing long term anyway. I'm looking at the next year of being one that I complete a lot of things that I've been working toward for a long time. I keep thinking, "Now what?" and am coming to realize that it's alright to not have a new goal for a bit. Sometimes just facing the day and making it a smashing success is enough of a goal to have. I'm not saying there is nothing that I want. There are always things and places to go that I want, but they don't feel the same as these other things that I"m about to complete. So, for now, "Now what?" is not an issue. I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Martin

I don't know how we can quantify the changes that Martin Luther King, Jr.'s work on our society and on the world at large. So many of us weren't even born at the time. I do know that without his work and the work of so many others during the Civil Rights movement I wouldn't have my beautiful babies and that is profound to me. It always seemed fitting that Bronte was born on MLK, Jr. day. It also seems fitting that even if I have to use vacation time I shouldn't work on that day and instead use the day to honor him in some way. Today I spent time with my children and cooked for them. While it's not a parade I think he would have been fine with it.

Cheers!