My best friend died 7 years ago today. I was fortunate to have her in my life and even more fortunate that she was not only my dearest friend, but my grandmother. Here is the eulogy I wrote for her.
"11/14/97
Trying to capture NeeNee into words is trying to capture a smell or a feeling. Wherever she went there was home. Now that she has past we have to find that part of ourselves, that essence of her, and reconstruct and redefine it to find our home. It is not that our home was lost. It has been altered and can be found by the recollection of the large and minute conversations, interactions, hugs, handholds and kisses. The pain of loss seems somehow to collect the years of memories and flash them before our eyes as if we were the ones about to pass. Does this composite of recollection form a myth or does it solidify what we knew the truth to be? Either way it is this that we carry with us of our lost one into the future. We were so lucky that NeeNee gave us the strength, love and the ability to learn to help us redefine our lives without her.
Where does this leave us? Not as the limbs of a tree whose trunk has died, but as a diamond formed by turmoil, pressure, and difficulty. NeeNee was always the center, but now we must form a chain, each link being connected to form a whole."
I love you, NeeNee. I will miss you always.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Not for the feint of heart
This first link is really something I would suggest people not reading if the "F" word offends them. However, it's pretty fucking hilarious and pretty fucking accurate as well. http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
Secondly, I watched a dentist drill and pull and prod and bloody my little girls mouth today. For the most part I was o.k., but when they were fitting the caps on her teeth and I could see the gums just taking a beating and then a little bloody spit sort of shot out onto her lip I really about lost it. So, rather than look like I was going to lose it I just closed my eyes and stretched. I think if it had been anyone else it wouldn't have phased me much. Still, that was my baby they were working on. She was a true champ though. She's been moaning about not getting to eat anything of substance, so that's a good sign.
I'm reading this book called Stiff. I think I mentioned it before. It is so hilarious. This woman is talking about corpses and yet I find myself laughing harder than I have at a book in some time. I really would type an excerpt, but it would have to be quite a long one as it seems she goes back sometimes several paragraphs to make a joke about her initial point. Oh alright...I'll do it. In this passage she is in a room w/ 40 cadaver heads. Yes, just heads. There are 80 or so surgeons brushing up on their face lifting skills and being instructed by some of "America's top face-lifters."
'"Isolate the brow as a skin island." The narrator speaks slowly, in a flat tone. I'm sure the idea is to sound niether excited and delighted at the prospect of isolating skin islands, nor overly dismayed. The net effect is that he sounds chemically sedated, which seems to me like a good idea.'
Anyway, the book is a delight an not nearly as morbid as it might sound. And on that note I'm off to read about what they used to do with the cadavers AFTER they were done with them back in the 1800's (remember what they made the soap with in Fight Club?)
Secondly, I watched a dentist drill and pull and prod and bloody my little girls mouth today. For the most part I was o.k., but when they were fitting the caps on her teeth and I could see the gums just taking a beating and then a little bloody spit sort of shot out onto her lip I really about lost it. So, rather than look like I was going to lose it I just closed my eyes and stretched. I think if it had been anyone else it wouldn't have phased me much. Still, that was my baby they were working on. She was a true champ though. She's been moaning about not getting to eat anything of substance, so that's a good sign.
I'm reading this book called Stiff. I think I mentioned it before. It is so hilarious. This woman is talking about corpses and yet I find myself laughing harder than I have at a book in some time. I really would type an excerpt, but it would have to be quite a long one as it seems she goes back sometimes several paragraphs to make a joke about her initial point. Oh alright...I'll do it. In this passage she is in a room w/ 40 cadaver heads. Yes, just heads. There are 80 or so surgeons brushing up on their face lifting skills and being instructed by some of "America's top face-lifters."
'"Isolate the brow as a skin island." The narrator speaks slowly, in a flat tone. I'm sure the idea is to sound niether excited and delighted at the prospect of isolating skin islands, nor overly dismayed. The net effect is that he sounds chemically sedated, which seems to me like a good idea.'
Anyway, the book is a delight an not nearly as morbid as it might sound. And on that note I'm off to read about what they used to do with the cadavers AFTER they were done with them back in the 1800's (remember what they made the soap with in Fight Club?)
Monday, November 08, 2004
Look at her BUTT!! It's just so...
If I've ever met you in person I probably have checked out your butt. That's right. I have probably checked out your ass. Why? I don't know. It isn't based on sexual attraction, but more out of curiosity and comparison. It's something I just DO. I notice everyone's ass and I mean everyones. Maybe it's because people are always commenting on mine, even in a tongue in cheek sort of way, but maybe I am just overly aware of bums because mine seems to, at some point, end up the topic of conversation.
It gets even worse because I tend to point out butts to whomever I am with. "Hey, check out that girl's ass. Those jeans look great on her." or "OMG, does he even have an ass? It looks like two legs and a back." I have had mixed reactions from friends, but for the most part I think my pals expect things like this from me. It's o.k. They do weird things like whistle to cars expecting them to follow them home, take three hour long baths, or knit during business meetings.
Even so, I do try to contain this "observational habit" to merely glancing when around family members or business associates. Well, at least I don't make comments. I mean saying, "Wow, you've got a great ass!" to my cousin's boss would just be awkward and even a little weird for me. Please note I've never seen my cousin's bosses ass. That was merely an example. However, I would definitely take a look.
It gets even worse because I tend to point out butts to whomever I am with. "Hey, check out that girl's ass. Those jeans look great on her." or "OMG, does he even have an ass? It looks like two legs and a back." I have had mixed reactions from friends, but for the most part I think my pals expect things like this from me. It's o.k. They do weird things like whistle to cars expecting them to follow them home, take three hour long baths, or knit during business meetings.
Even so, I do try to contain this "observational habit" to merely glancing when around family members or business associates. Well, at least I don't make comments. I mean saying, "Wow, you've got a great ass!" to my cousin's boss would just be awkward and even a little weird for me. Please note I've never seen my cousin's bosses ass. That was merely an example. However, I would definitely take a look.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
"Why I love the authors I do." a blog entry by Smoooochie
One of my favorite authors of all time is Neil Gaiman. He has entertained me and delighted me in his darkness and light, his fantastical and thoughtful. Even better he makes me laugh. Here is one entry to his blog I'd forgotten that did just that. (www.neilgaiman.com)
'Friday, June 11, 2004 Whales, beavers, unborn rabbits and barnacle geese, actually posted by Neil Gaiman 6/11/2004 10:17:34 PM I need to start listening while I'm talking. I was having an incredibly respectable telephone conversation with an extremely respectable person this afternoon, and the subject wandered over to Basque whalers, the way that it does, and I was explaining that whale meat was one of the few red meats that the Catholic church historically allowed to be eaten on Fridays and during Lent. "And, oddly enough, beaver was classified as a fish too," I explained earnestly and helpfully and accurately. "So on Fridays and during Lent people used to eat beaver." There was the sound over the phone of a very respectable and respected person making a sputtering sort of snorting noise, and I noticed that statement was capable of meaning rather more than I'd meant it to... '
Another of my favorites is a actually a friend of Gaimans. I didn't know this until much after I'd begun reading him. He is Jonathan Carroll, an expatriate who resides in Vienna. I have only just started reading his blog, but have read the majority of his books. However, I'm so not going to type out any of my favorite passages. Just trust me on this one. "Outside the Dog Museum" is one of the most amusing, thoughtfully books I've read. Period. Not read in the last however long. Just ever. Read it. Go..now..the library has it. (http://www.jonathancarroll.com/indexframes.html)
'Friday, June 11, 2004 Whales, beavers, unborn rabbits and barnacle geese, actually posted by Neil Gaiman 6/11/2004 10:17:34 PM I need to start listening while I'm talking. I was having an incredibly respectable telephone conversation with an extremely respectable person this afternoon, and the subject wandered over to Basque whalers, the way that it does, and I was explaining that whale meat was one of the few red meats that the Catholic church historically allowed to be eaten on Fridays and during Lent. "And, oddly enough, beaver was classified as a fish too," I explained earnestly and helpfully and accurately. "So on Fridays and during Lent people used to eat beaver." There was the sound over the phone of a very respectable and respected person making a sputtering sort of snorting noise, and I noticed that statement was capable of meaning rather more than I'd meant it to... '
Another of my favorites is a actually a friend of Gaimans. I didn't know this until much after I'd begun reading him. He is Jonathan Carroll, an expatriate who resides in Vienna. I have only just started reading his blog, but have read the majority of his books. However, I'm so not going to type out any of my favorite passages. Just trust me on this one. "Outside the Dog Museum" is one of the most amusing, thoughtfully books I've read. Period. Not read in the last however long. Just ever. Read it. Go..now..the library has it. (http://www.jonathancarroll.com/indexframes.html)
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