I'm good at this thing called missing. It seems that I've spent a lot of time doing it. Missing my mother when I was growing up, missing my home when I had to move away, missing my grandparents now that they are dead, and now I'm missing Atlanta. Certaintly, missing a place I lived for 5 years isn't nearly as dramatic as the others, but it's very much heartfelt. I know that soon, within a few weeks probably, the daffodils will be popping their bright yellow heads up in search of spring. These will be soon followed by so many other flowers that abound around every corner of that city in late March and April. The weather will be warm and balmy and jackets will not be used much if at all. Yet here I am, still waiting out the winter. Outdoor flowers are long in coming and only those lovelies that I received for my birthday are here to give me cheer.
Apart from the natural beauties of Atlanta I am missing the places. The Dekalb County Farmers market which I have never seen anything to compare. Willy's burritos, dayum...they just hit the spot now and then and Chipotle has nothing on them. Driving down and around town late at night with all the bustle that a city has to offer.
And then there are my friends. I miss my talks with Martha about everything under the sun. I miss hanging out now and then with Alicia and just laughing and giggling about all sort of girl stuff. I miss the neighbors I had who would stop and talk sometimes for an hour or more.
I know that the decision I made was the right one for my children and myself, but that doesn't it make it easier to reconcile in my heart when I haven't found anything to compare to it here. Somehow the mountains with all their beauty just aren't as comforting as a dogwood blossom dancing lightly on a draft of warm air.
alright, I'm done whining now
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Copy Cat redux
So, Abby had this posted on her blog (see my blog roll for that Troublemaker) so here are my answers:
What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
I think it's around 2.5 G which isn't very much, but considering I only have a 10G harddrive it's a fucking LOT. I need an external or an Ipod.
What's the last CD you bought?
The new Jimmy Eat World
What is the last song you listened to before reading this message?
It was some French pop song. I have no idea and now it's gone.
Write down the 5 songs that you listen to a lot or that mean a lot to you. (I'm mixing it up between play a lot and mean a lot.)
1. Work by J.E.W. It's on my new CD and I keep playing it over and over really loud. It's getting annoying.
2. September by David Sylvian. It's such a beautiful song and it always reminds me of a friend I had in college that I lost touch with because of my marriage. He was a really great friend. And yes, he was just a friend.
3. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. I don't know why I like this song as much as I do, and I don't know why it feels so comfortable and important. It just does.
4. Parabola by Tool. Such a great song.
5. I'll Fly Away. It always reminds me of my grandmother. She was awesome.
Who are you going to push this exercise on to?
You. Get on it.
k...done rambling now
What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
I think it's around 2.5 G which isn't very much, but considering I only have a 10G harddrive it's a fucking LOT. I need an external or an Ipod.
What's the last CD you bought?
The new Jimmy Eat World
What is the last song you listened to before reading this message?
It was some French pop song. I have no idea and now it's gone.
Write down the 5 songs that you listen to a lot or that mean a lot to you. (I'm mixing it up between play a lot and mean a lot.)
1. Work by J.E.W. It's on my new CD and I keep playing it over and over really loud. It's getting annoying.
2. September by David Sylvian. It's such a beautiful song and it always reminds me of a friend I had in college that I lost touch with because of my marriage. He was a really great friend. And yes, he was just a friend.
3. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. I don't know why I like this song as much as I do, and I don't know why it feels so comfortable and important. It just does.
4. Parabola by Tool. Such a great song.
5. I'll Fly Away. It always reminds me of my grandmother. She was awesome.
Who are you going to push this exercise on to?
You. Get on it.
k...done rambling now
Monday, February 14, 2005
February 14th
Today ROCKS!! I'm 36 today, so take that and put it in your back pocket.
by the way, how in THE hell did Robbie Williams get a recording contract? He's a cutie and in a few years might make a fantastic James Bond (if his acting is better than his music) but dayum....he needs to stop w/ the singing gig. ACK.
by the way, how in THE hell did Robbie Williams get a recording contract? He's a cutie and in a few years might make a fantastic James Bond (if his acting is better than his music) but dayum....he needs to stop w/ the singing gig. ACK.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Smokers
As a rule I don't care if someone smokes. I am not a non-smoker that nags or complains about a smoker. Honestly, if they want to smoke great. Whatever. I like the smell of a freshly lit cigarette quite honestly, but am not inclined to take it up. What bugs me are the smokers that have no sense of humor about their habit. I mean here is an addiction (that's not a judgement call) that will make people go out in the freezing cold wintery weather to burn a cigarette! Sorry, but I am making sure all my addictions can be met where it's WARM.
Anyway, today a woman I work with was about to go out to have a cigarette and she was coughing this obvious smoker's cough, and I very jokingly said, "Have another one!" Her "witty" response? "Why don't you have another child?" um..WTF does this mean exactly? I'm a little perplexed how these corrolate in any way. Can someone help me on this one?
Anyway, today a woman I work with was about to go out to have a cigarette and she was coughing this obvious smoker's cough, and I very jokingly said, "Have another one!" Her "witty" response? "Why don't you have another child?" um..WTF does this mean exactly? I'm a little perplexed how these corrolate in any way. Can someone help me on this one?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
An actual e-mail
I received a "forward" the other day in my e-mail from someone I care about. The title of it was, "Let's see who is ACTUALLY reading their e-mail." Alright. Let's set something straight, while it is certainly something that is transferred from one e-mail account to another a "cute" forward is hardly an actual e-mail. Really, quite honestly, they are just about one step from being spam. And quite honestly some of the spam I get are more amusing than the forwards I get. The only effort or thought that was put into it was the actual reading of the thing, the thought "Oh, I should send this to so and so" and a couple clicks of the mouse. THESE ARE NOT ACTUAL COMMUNICATION WITH THE PERSON YOU FORWARD IT TO. Really, it's a little insulting when ALL you get are forwards from someone. My sister does this, bless her little heart. It drives me insane. I have no idea how she is, but I know that she thinks a story about a little boy cussing was worth forwarding to me. huh?
Now I have to admit I have received some that were worth a chuckle. Usually oriented toward work or politics. So, with all of this in mind I have created this guide to forwarding things to Smoooochie, or anyone with a fully functioning intelligence.
1. If it has hearts, unicorns, teddy bears or lame music box type music this is trash. You might actually need to go to confession if you even THOUGHT about forwarding it to someone else.
2. If it's a heartwarming story about friends that makes you think of the sappiest card Hallmark has ever offered in their long line of sappiness just click on delete. This is the kind of sick fetish that people will pay for. Please don't torture those of us that don't have that fucked up passion with it for free.
3. If it has anything about hippies, mullets, or rednecks we've seen it. Just move along to the next forward that you've subscribed to. I do not want to see it again.
4. If it's a warning about a potentially dangerous product, an idea to stay "safe" that is a little off center, or a way to get rich by e-mailing a large corp just check Snopes. If you still think it's legit tell me about it on the phone. I don't want that bullshit clogging up my brain with "what if?"
5. If I am going to have to hassle my friends by forwarding it to 10 other people so I can have good luck and you send it to me we are no longer friends and you will no longer be allowed to send even legitimate e-mails to me. Just don't do this. (There is one exception to this rule, but only one. I like those ones where you have to tell all your favorites and all your weird freaky behaviors. It's fun to laugh at you.)
6. If it's propaganda from a radical cultish group like PETA, the GOP, or basically any Christian organization I don't want it. I really enjoy fiction, but choose to get mine from Barnes and Noble.
7. There is no seven. Just remember I don't fucking want forwards if you can't actually spend a few minutes writing me actual correspondance that has to do with your well being. You are part of my life because I enjoy YOU. Let's not ruin a good thing because you don't have any etiquette with regard to the internet. I know, social skills are hard. Try.
Last, but certainly no least, I solemnly swear to refrain from forwarding things unless I too follow these simply rules.
k..I'm done rambling and bitching about this now.
Now I have to admit I have received some that were worth a chuckle. Usually oriented toward work or politics. So, with all of this in mind I have created this guide to forwarding things to Smoooochie, or anyone with a fully functioning intelligence.
1. If it has hearts, unicorns, teddy bears or lame music box type music this is trash. You might actually need to go to confession if you even THOUGHT about forwarding it to someone else.
2. If it's a heartwarming story about friends that makes you think of the sappiest card Hallmark has ever offered in their long line of sappiness just click on delete. This is the kind of sick fetish that people will pay for. Please don't torture those of us that don't have that fucked up passion with it for free.
3. If it has anything about hippies, mullets, or rednecks we've seen it. Just move along to the next forward that you've subscribed to. I do not want to see it again.
4. If it's a warning about a potentially dangerous product, an idea to stay "safe" that is a little off center, or a way to get rich by e-mailing a large corp just check Snopes. If you still think it's legit tell me about it on the phone. I don't want that bullshit clogging up my brain with "what if?"
5. If I am going to have to hassle my friends by forwarding it to 10 other people so I can have good luck and you send it to me we are no longer friends and you will no longer be allowed to send even legitimate e-mails to me. Just don't do this. (There is one exception to this rule, but only one. I like those ones where you have to tell all your favorites and all your weird freaky behaviors. It's fun to laugh at you.)
6. If it's propaganda from a radical cultish group like PETA, the GOP, or basically any Christian organization I don't want it. I really enjoy fiction, but choose to get mine from Barnes and Noble.
7. There is no seven. Just remember I don't fucking want forwards if you can't actually spend a few minutes writing me actual correspondance that has to do with your well being. You are part of my life because I enjoy YOU. Let's not ruin a good thing because you don't have any etiquette with regard to the internet. I know, social skills are hard. Try.
Last, but certainly no least, I solemnly swear to refrain from forwarding things unless I too follow these simply rules.
k..I'm done rambling and bitching about this now.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Africa
South Africa, Lesotho, Swaziland, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Malawi, Zambia, Angola, DRC, Rwanda, Burundi, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Congo, Gabon, Eq. Guinea, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Eritrea, Egypt, Libya, Chad, Nigeria, Niger, Algeria, Mali, Burkina Faso, Ghana, Togo, Benin, Cote D'Ivoire, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Gamia, Senegal, Mauritania, Morocco, Cape Verde Islands, Madagascar...I think I missed something. hmmm...I wanna go back to the first one and visit many of the ones inbetween. I long to travel. This is just one continent. There are many more to go. I hope I have time.
Friday, February 04, 2005
All About this Scary Conservative town
I am working on that top 20 list of books still. I'm at about 12 or so. Give me time.
Alright, so there is a company down the hall from my office called "All About God." This is not atypical of the type of thing in Colorado Springs. In fact it's pretty normal here. I did a simple Google search just using the words "Colorado Springs Christian" and lookie, lookie what I found. CHRISTIANS!! And a lot of them. I guess I'm just a little unnerved and experiencing some culture shock still. The area I called home for 5 years was a remarkable mix of religions and cultures. I had really become unaccustomed to so much homogeneity, and quite honestly I don't want to become accustomed to it. The bottom line I think is that it feels uncomfortable to me. O.K. I don't know where this is going. Anyway.
Alright, so there is a company down the hall from my office called "All About God." This is not atypical of the type of thing in Colorado Springs. In fact it's pretty normal here. I did a simple Google search just using the words "Colorado Springs Christian" and lookie, lookie what I found. CHRISTIANS!! And a lot of them. I guess I'm just a little unnerved and experiencing some culture shock still. The area I called home for 5 years was a remarkable mix of religions and cultures. I had really become unaccustomed to so much homogeneity, and quite honestly I don't want to become accustomed to it. The bottom line I think is that it feels uncomfortable to me. O.K. I don't know where this is going. Anyway.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
I just ran my fingers through my hair. I washed it this morning and took the time to blow it fairly straight. It really does affect the texture when I take the time to do something with it. It's so silky and soft right now. I have an appointment on the 12th to get about 4 inches of the length chopped. I really want something funky and yet sexy. I hope "Markie" can do that for me. We'll see. We'll see.
I was talking to a co-worker today about reading the classics. He was going to try to read The Top 100 Books of All Time at one point. He got to page 2 of #1. I can't say that I blame him. Ulysses has never really appealed to me. I was thinking about it and I don't know if I could come up with a top 100. That's a LOT of books. I'm thinking maybe a top 20. I'll get back to you on this one. I need to give it some thought. I think of the list I agree much more with the reader's list than the boards list.
Sadly I've been listening to a lot of pop radio recently. Actually, it's an internet radio station out of Paris, so there is a lot of stuff that would never make it here. There is some good and some crap. Like what does the world find so damned appealling about Beyonce? She seems rather unappealing to me. Like an old banana. On the other hand I still really like the various versions of "Bohemian Rhapsody." The new one by the Braids is nice. It sort of reminds me of the Fugees version a few years ago. Oh, and Natasha Bedingfield. I am so diggin' her. Go ahead. Kick me for that. It's o.k.
The "President" is about to come on. I am still irked about him getting another 4 years and not a little disturbed about the changes he's proposing. I suppose I should haul my ass upstairs and turn on the boob tube to watch the boob. Add that to my file.
Alright, so I owe my dear readers a list. I'll get on that after fucktard gets done rambling on and I read to my kids. hmmmmm...top books. Books are good.
I was talking to a co-worker today about reading the classics. He was going to try to read The Top 100 Books of All Time at one point. He got to page 2 of #1. I can't say that I blame him. Ulysses has never really appealed to me. I was thinking about it and I don't know if I could come up with a top 100. That's a LOT of books. I'm thinking maybe a top 20. I'll get back to you on this one. I need to give it some thought. I think of the list I agree much more with the reader's list than the boards list.
Sadly I've been listening to a lot of pop radio recently. Actually, it's an internet radio station out of Paris, so there is a lot of stuff that would never make it here. There is some good and some crap. Like what does the world find so damned appealling about Beyonce? She seems rather unappealing to me. Like an old banana. On the other hand I still really like the various versions of "Bohemian Rhapsody." The new one by the Braids is nice. It sort of reminds me of the Fugees version a few years ago. Oh, and Natasha Bedingfield. I am so diggin' her. Go ahead. Kick me for that. It's o.k.
The "President" is about to come on. I am still irked about him getting another 4 years and not a little disturbed about the changes he's proposing. I suppose I should haul my ass upstairs and turn on the boob tube to watch the boob. Add that to my file.
Alright, so I owe my dear readers a list. I'll get on that after fucktard gets done rambling on and I read to my kids. hmmmmm...top books. Books are good.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Summer Memories on a Winter Night
Summer nights spent in my small comfortable bedroom on Norwood Avenue hold special memories for me. I remember the way the air would feel at night. The clarity of it was amazing. It was not only fresh and lightly scented, but it could carry sound like a concert hall. I would settle in my bed every night and listen to the sounds going on all about me as I was lulled into sleep. The train horn blowing gently in the distance as the crickets just outside chirped in harmony. A car would drive by occasionally with a quiet whoosh barely noticeable. Those nights were lucky if there was a breeze and we could hear it in the trees as the leaves would rustle with their pleasure at the winds touch. The sadness now that is created by this memory is not that it was a sad or unhappy place. In fact, it’s quite the contrary. The memory is so vivid and wonderful that when I stop remembering and realize that it is past it's like having been to Wonderland and realizing that Wonderland no longer exists. My little room in that little house is no longer available to me. It’s no longer mine, but someone else's home. It has changed so much as to not exist any longer. These are just memories that cannot be revisited in person to prove that they ever existed at all. I do have a few mementos that prove otherwise, but they are not that place. They are not what was my home.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
compatibility
I think we all want some clue into who we are and aren't compatible with. I mean if we could lessen the odds of us getting hurt why wouldn't we? I took a test today that supposedly measures my biorhythms and compares them with other peoples. I'd like to believe it simply because it says that I was only 8% compatible with my ex. Unfortunately I can't believe that simply the date I was born compared to the date someone else was born makes compatibility or not. It doesn't take into account that a 99% biorhythm match might be a conservative Christian. ACK! Or a 20% match might have exactly the same interests and goals that I have. What a lot of poo. Still, wouldn't it rock if there were a mechanism that could just say "Move along, sista." or "WooT! He's the ONE!!" I know, I know. You just have to kiss a lot of frogs. I am just too Veruca for that. meh...whatevs.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
MirrorMask
Alright, so while it might be something that you didn't know about me it's hardly a secret that I am a complete Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean fan. They are both brilliant. O.K. so when I was stumbling around Tribe.net this morning I remembered that I hadn't yet seen the trailer to MirrorMask. I'm stunned. I swear I almost pee'd myself. (Hi Willy!) I am so incredibly stoked to see this movie because it's not only Neil's story, but it looks like Dave's art come to life. It's just beautiful. Alright. I'm trying to calm down now.
hmmm...did I provide enough links? Well, if not I can do so in the next rambling session.
hmmm...did I provide enough links? Well, if not I can do so in the next rambling session.
Friday, January 21, 2005
BLOG
I like this blog a lot:
a violently executed blog
(that's a hint to move your mouse over where it's purple and click the left mouse button or right if you are a left handed FREAK ;) or wait...do those l.h.f. still use the left mouse button. Oh for fuck's sake, click the damn link)
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO....5 things that make it worthwhile to get up in the morning and go to work, no matter what the weather? In Smoooochie™ land what are these things? (these aren't in order of importance, because obviously having my little monkeys tell me that they love me is A#1 top o' the line wake up material regardless of rain, sun or shine)
1. The hope that I'll get up, turn on CNN and G.W. (in 3rd world countries AND my house that stands for Great Whitey) will have tried pretzels again and failed miserably and Cheney will have had a coronary hearing the news. I say this because all the people below that would be cake to impeach.
2. My children will wake up and say, "I love you, Mommy."
3. Sensual treats from lands far, far away (this is fairly broad and includes all 5 senses)
4. More laundry...KIDDING!!!
5. Calls from people I care about (y'all are getting lax on this one. step UP.)
6. Sadly, (and yes, I get a six because #4 was a joke) Tribe. It's where I talk to my pals, think "aloud" about things that I need to think about, and get feedback about either things I've done or things I don't have the solution to. Please see the poem entitled "wired version 4.0" to explain this freakish need. Thank and my the glorious paw of Foamy touch your unworthy life.
Alright. There you have it. Love, senses, and freedom from tyranny. Not that much to ask right?
Alright, I'm done tispy rambling now. WooT!
a violently executed blog
(that's a hint to move your mouse over where it's purple and click the left mouse button or right if you are a left handed FREAK ;) or wait...do those l.h.f. still use the left mouse button. Oh for fuck's sake, click the damn link)
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO....5 things that make it worthwhile to get up in the morning and go to work, no matter what the weather? In Smoooochie™ land what are these things? (these aren't in order of importance, because obviously having my little monkeys tell me that they love me is A#1 top o' the line wake up material regardless of rain, sun or shine)
1. The hope that I'll get up, turn on CNN and G.W. (in 3rd world countries AND my house that stands for Great Whitey) will have tried pretzels again and failed miserably and Cheney will have had a coronary hearing the news. I say this because all the people below that would be cake to impeach.
2. My children will wake up and say, "I love you, Mommy."
3. Sensual treats from lands far, far away (this is fairly broad and includes all 5 senses)
4. More laundry...KIDDING!!!
5. Calls from people I care about (y'all are getting lax on this one. step UP.)
6. Sadly, (and yes, I get a six because #4 was a joke) Tribe. It's where I talk to my pals, think "aloud" about things that I need to think about, and get feedback about either things I've done or things I don't have the solution to. Please see the poem entitled "wired version 4.0" to explain this freakish need. Thank and my the glorious paw of Foamy touch your unworthy life.
Alright. There you have it. Love, senses, and freedom from tyranny. Not that much to ask right?
Alright, I'm done tispy rambling now. WooT!
My kids are sure to be gay
And I'm sooooooo a fag hag. After countless hours of watching Spongebob Squarepants episodes how could this not be true? I'm sorry, but what the fuck is James Dobson thinking? Honestly? Does he have nothing else to do but think about the sexual preference of cartoon characters? Do these people really think that by not hating, but being respectful, of people that are different is indoctrination into "the big flaming gay man's club?" I think they do. Check out this quote:
"Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.
'Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity' within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line,' Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on Thursday."
Oh, wait. So, if I'm a virgin (stop laughing, IT'S HYPOTHETICAL) and see that as my sexual identity the children that watch cartoons should be offended and wary of my freakishness? Or let's say I've choosen to be celibate is this also somehow crossing the moral line? OH hell!! What if I'm a black virgin!? Jeezy Creezy. What's next!? Asian asexuals? BLASPHEMY!!!
I wonder what these religious fanatics would answer if asked, "What would you choose if you had to~ your religion or love among all peoples?" I'm afraid of the answer.
"Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.
'Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity' within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line,' Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on Thursday."
Oh, wait. So, if I'm a virgin (stop laughing, IT'S HYPOTHETICAL) and see that as my sexual identity the children that watch cartoons should be offended and wary of my freakishness? Or let's say I've choosen to be celibate is this also somehow crossing the moral line? OH hell!! What if I'm a black virgin!? Jeezy Creezy. What's next!? Asian asexuals? BLASPHEMY!!!
I wonder what these religious fanatics would answer if asked, "What would you choose if you had to~ your religion or love among all peoples?" I'm afraid of the answer.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Birthdays, Coffee and Thoughts
It's probably too late for me to be posting anything coherent. So, if this is just a scrambled glob of poop go to one of the other posts. There are some really good ones back in November and December.
Today was Bronte's birthday. It's hard to believe that she's already 7. The first thing I thought when I saw her tiny little person was "What a funny little nose she has. She's so beautiful." She does have a funny little nose, and it is beautiful to this day. Her sparkly eyes and quick wit astound. It's an amazing thing to be a mother. It really is.
We went to Barnes and Noble and got decaf coffee for us all. Then Geoffrey and I proceeded to sing loudly (yes, I DID sing in public) to her. She didn't blush. She just smiled and sipped her caramel machiato. What a little princess. We looked at books a bit and they chattered away. It was good. A comfort.
Now, I'm alone and they are off visiting other places as they sleep. The dishwasher is swishing, the computer is humming and the quick clickety clack of the keyboard as I type are all the sounds that keep me company. It's like a strange yet familiar song. It's a good time to take time for me. Thinking. Writing. Dreaming. "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." I just realized I'm smiling.
Today was Bronte's birthday. It's hard to believe that she's already 7. The first thing I thought when I saw her tiny little person was "What a funny little nose she has. She's so beautiful." She does have a funny little nose, and it is beautiful to this day. Her sparkly eyes and quick wit astound. It's an amazing thing to be a mother. It really is.
We went to Barnes and Noble and got decaf coffee for us all. Then Geoffrey and I proceeded to sing loudly (yes, I DID sing in public) to her. She didn't blush. She just smiled and sipped her caramel machiato. What a little princess. We looked at books a bit and they chattered away. It was good. A comfort.
Now, I'm alone and they are off visiting other places as they sleep. The dishwasher is swishing, the computer is humming and the quick clickety clack of the keyboard as I type are all the sounds that keep me company. It's like a strange yet familiar song. It's a good time to take time for me. Thinking. Writing. Dreaming. "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." I just realized I'm smiling.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
My friends are amazing. Really!
I got some fantastic news about a friend of mine's business today AND about a friend who is buying an apartment today!! So, here is sort of a list of my amazing friends and the stuff they do regularly that is the most fantastic stuff! ***WARNING*** THIS GETS MUSHY AND IS HEARTFELT!! These aren't in any order, because how can you order wonderful?
I have a wonderful friend who is finishing up her PhD and doing it under the least favorable conditions. She amazes me everyday with her determination. Through it all she maintains her compassion and sense of humor. That is so fucking fantastic! OH!! AND she's in love with this fantastic man that supports her dreams and hopes and work. It's amazing to see them answer one another sentences. I love that. He works his butt off every week and then drives 3 hours just to see her. They really LOVE each other. Like deep down this shit is GOOOOOOOOOOD kind of love. It's inspiring.
Another friend of mine picked up her life, moved it a thousand miles or so and is rocking San Fran like a big ol' hurricane. She is always supportive and thoughtful in her feedback and even better I know that I can call her at anytime day or night and just talk. She is like a brick lighthouse! She is so full of moxie and independence that she always reminds me that it's alright to be alone and be ballsy in my decisions. She is so fierce. I love that girlie!
I have a friend who decided that his chosen career path wasn't really what he wanted to do even after years of schooling, so he started a company with a friend and now their stuff is going to be in VOGUE!! WTF? How freakin' rockin is THAT?? Wow!! I am so amazed at how much hard work that company has had to have taken. It just proves that hard work can really pay off if you just believe that it will.
Another friend of mine just got her a place in SF AND SHE'S totally in love with another friend of mine who quit his job to follow his dream of writing. O.K. So that is so major and wonderful and really, together they give me lots of hope and strength that sometimes things DO work out. That sometimes when you just don't expect it you find that one person who can echo back to you all that you need to hear just at the right moment. And they keep my faith alive that following your dreams is not ever a loss. I really adore those two.
Another friend of mine has the most rockin' job that takes him all around the world. While sometimes the travel part is tedious he really loves what he does and is completely committed to the goals that he's set in life. I really truly respect that. Dedication to self has been and continues to be one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, because I'm always so wrapped up in taking care of others. His commitment to something he loves reminds me daily that we ARE the center of our universe and no one else can ever be that for us. It's so important and I'm amazed at how he can do that with such ease. Still he is so loving and commited to his friends and family as well. He is completely amazing and wonderful.
I have a friend in Seattle that some people might consider a bit of a dreamer. Still, she has the biggest heart and I think that is so evident the moment you meet her. She has a face that just brings you in and captures your attention. She follows her heart and has fun. I think that is a lesson that everyone has to be reminded of now and then. Just have fun, man. I sometimes forget to tell her what a wonderful person she is, but well, she is.
Dayum....Where to do I even begin? These are just a few of my pals that totally amaze and astound me. I didn't mention Mynxy yet who without even touching on her pulchritude is tops with her wicked wit and her ability to dance circles around all of us regular sized humans. ;) And of course my dear sweet Scissors. I cannot describe him better than to simply say he is a true friend through thick and thin. I dearly love this man more than I can ever express and his happiness is always my deepest wish (um..I would say something here about mynxy, but that is prolly pushing it..heh.) I am really lucky to have him as my friend. But then I wish that for all of these wonderful people, because they give me so much happiness and love in return. O.K. yeah, I'm PMSing. So, what? I mean all this stuff and it's important to say that I love my friends because they need to hear it once in awhile. Besides I'm proud of these silly fuckers! Alright...done ranting now. WooT!
I have a wonderful friend who is finishing up her PhD and doing it under the least favorable conditions. She amazes me everyday with her determination. Through it all she maintains her compassion and sense of humor. That is so fucking fantastic! OH!! AND she's in love with this fantastic man that supports her dreams and hopes and work. It's amazing to see them answer one another sentences. I love that. He works his butt off every week and then drives 3 hours just to see her. They really LOVE each other. Like deep down this shit is GOOOOOOOOOOD kind of love. It's inspiring.
Another friend of mine picked up her life, moved it a thousand miles or so and is rocking San Fran like a big ol' hurricane. She is always supportive and thoughtful in her feedback and even better I know that I can call her at anytime day or night and just talk. She is like a brick lighthouse! She is so full of moxie and independence that she always reminds me that it's alright to be alone and be ballsy in my decisions. She is so fierce. I love that girlie!
I have a friend who decided that his chosen career path wasn't really what he wanted to do even after years of schooling, so he started a company with a friend and now their stuff is going to be in VOGUE!! WTF? How freakin' rockin is THAT?? Wow!! I am so amazed at how much hard work that company has had to have taken. It just proves that hard work can really pay off if you just believe that it will.
Another friend of mine just got her a place in SF AND SHE'S totally in love with another friend of mine who quit his job to follow his dream of writing. O.K. So that is so major and wonderful and really, together they give me lots of hope and strength that sometimes things DO work out. That sometimes when you just don't expect it you find that one person who can echo back to you all that you need to hear just at the right moment. And they keep my faith alive that following your dreams is not ever a loss. I really adore those two.
Another friend of mine has the most rockin' job that takes him all around the world. While sometimes the travel part is tedious he really loves what he does and is completely committed to the goals that he's set in life. I really truly respect that. Dedication to self has been and continues to be one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, because I'm always so wrapped up in taking care of others. His commitment to something he loves reminds me daily that we ARE the center of our universe and no one else can ever be that for us. It's so important and I'm amazed at how he can do that with such ease. Still he is so loving and commited to his friends and family as well. He is completely amazing and wonderful.
I have a friend in Seattle that some people might consider a bit of a dreamer. Still, she has the biggest heart and I think that is so evident the moment you meet her. She has a face that just brings you in and captures your attention. She follows her heart and has fun. I think that is a lesson that everyone has to be reminded of now and then. Just have fun, man. I sometimes forget to tell her what a wonderful person she is, but well, she is.
Dayum....Where to do I even begin? These are just a few of my pals that totally amaze and astound me. I didn't mention Mynxy yet who without even touching on her pulchritude is tops with her wicked wit and her ability to dance circles around all of us regular sized humans. ;) And of course my dear sweet Scissors. I cannot describe him better than to simply say he is a true friend through thick and thin. I dearly love this man more than I can ever express and his happiness is always my deepest wish (um..I would say something here about mynxy, but that is prolly pushing it..heh.) I am really lucky to have him as my friend. But then I wish that for all of these wonderful people, because they give me so much happiness and love in return. O.K. yeah, I'm PMSing. So, what? I mean all this stuff and it's important to say that I love my friends because they need to hear it once in awhile. Besides I'm proud of these silly fuckers! Alright...done ranting now. WooT!
Sunday, January 16, 2005
The week is ending. It's odd how our Christian calendars start with Sunday even though that is supposed to represent the day of rest, and that was the last day. Never the less, the day is almost done and another week is about to be introduced. I'm drinking a cup of Rooibos tea and hoping that my daughter isn't getting sick. She had a small family birthday party in her honor today and shortly after it was over she was laying down snoozing and not feeling well at all. Poor little monkey. Fortunately tomorrow isn't a school day so if she is sick she won't miss school. I'm listening to some mp3's I burned for Pecan awhile ago. The songs, the end of the week, and perhaps reading "The Wooden Sea" have made me thoughtful. Thinking of compromise in both it's good and bad forms, love, loyalty and how important good food is to bolster our souls.
Nora Jones "The Nearness of You" just came on. This version is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes nearly every time. My friend Frisbee and I were talking earlier about love. About how some people are made to be in a couple and that fits them, and how others just are content with being individuals and don't need that companionship to feel fulfilled. I am the former and she's the latter. She compared it to my feelings about sushi. Some people just adore it and it's the tops to them. Nothing better. And they have friends who they drag along for it that just don't care for it. They want to like it because it's soooooo pretty and it seems to make their friends so happy, but then that one bite and it's just not something they care for. I don't like sushi, but I do fit being in love. It fits me. I just haven't found the person it fits with. Still I know that I'm willing to make the good compromises when the opportunity comes along and willing to wait so I don't have to make the bad ones again.
I think that this mood has created a good place for me to write a few paragraphs on one of my works in progress. I like writing. That fits me as well.
Nora Jones "The Nearness of You" just came on. This version is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes nearly every time. My friend Frisbee and I were talking earlier about love. About how some people are made to be in a couple and that fits them, and how others just are content with being individuals and don't need that companionship to feel fulfilled. I am the former and she's the latter. She compared it to my feelings about sushi. Some people just adore it and it's the tops to them. Nothing better. And they have friends who they drag along for it that just don't care for it. They want to like it because it's soooooo pretty and it seems to make their friends so happy, but then that one bite and it's just not something they care for. I don't like sushi, but I do fit being in love. It fits me. I just haven't found the person it fits with. Still I know that I'm willing to make the good compromises when the opportunity comes along and willing to wait so I don't have to make the bad ones again.
I think that this mood has created a good place for me to write a few paragraphs on one of my works in progress. I like writing. That fits me as well.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
half formed thought about jargon and how I have my own little world
I was just eating some basmati with a little ghee and realized how the words I chose might confuse some people. The ones that it doesn’t are obviously my friends and the ones that it does well, maybe they should get out more. I think I tend to use a lot of jargon that has direct bearing on the things that I enjoy. But then really who doesn’t. Have you ever heard a group of golfers talking. “I was on the 8th and par was 3. I bogey’d it.” Huh? It’s the same in all the various industries and the action item words that people use. The words that I use that might alienate people are the same thing. They are just my action items for things that I have found relevant in my life. It’s not REALLY to exclude or to include, but just how I choose to describe, express or explain the things going on in my life.
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