Brussel Sprouts

What strange little vegetables they are. Somewhere between broccoli and cabbage, but really not like either one at all. I like them. They are quite tasty.

(yeah, I just needed to delve into something not so angry. I'm trying)

Sacrificial Brown. Just say NO!!

Oh for fuck’s sake! Does anyone really believe that Michael Brown resigning makes a damn bit of difference? Does this head taking the fall for Bush make it alright that our country is not ready for a disaster even after we’ve given up our Rights in the name of national security? Sorry, but I’m not buying this anymore than I bought Bush’s plea for us to go to war and fight terrorism. My children and loved ones are not safer. We aren’t. Look at NOLA & the rest of the Gulf Coast and tell me that Bush and his government are ready to respond to another grand scale terrorist attack and I’ll laugh in your face. This country is not prepared despite all the money and fear that the Bush administration has spent in the last 4 years. And yes, I’m pointing the finger of blame at more than Michael Brown.

So, I’ll shout this from a bullhorn the second I see even one of the Bushites~

“FUCK YOU Mr. Cheney, Mr. Bush, Ms. Rice, et al!!! Fuck you until you are down on your knees in the muck and grime of what is left of our country and begging to the corpses that you’ve created, both here and abroad, for forgiveness! Don’t you think that a simple resignation is going to cut it. I don’t accept this sacrifice and neither should the American people.”

*And by the by, I know you are watching me big “Patriot brother.” You just keep watching because the VOTE and the American people are watching you right back. Grab some Orwell and tell me what you think.

Oh reeeeally?

By all recent accounts that I've read the funding was cut from the Army Corps of Engineers to help maintain and repair the levee system that was protecting the citizens of New Orleans. Stories following the devastation and destruction show that the local, state, and federal agencies were not prepared for a catastrophic storm with the magnitude of Katrina. (do I really need to post even one link for proof of this?) O.K. so my point? Well, my point is exactly what the fuck did they waste the paper for this proclamation for if they weren't going to back it up? Fuck you, Mr. Bush for all your lies and false promises. Do us all a favor and resign before this nation is shamed even further by your blundering bullshit.

almost numb...almost

As I watch the news, read accounts of victims and read the blogs of people who are following the tragedy that the South is going through right now I continue to be stunned. I’m stunned at the denial of knowledge the federal government continues to claim. I’m stunned at the accounts there are still people dying today because they haven’t been rescued almost a week after the hurricane. I, like the rest of the country, am asking the question “Why?” and probably like the majority of those asking that question there nothing but spin for an answer. I want to yell that it’s too late for an excuse or an apology. But they wouldn’t hear just like they don’t hear the cries of the thousands still abandoned in New Orleans.

I still contend that this isn’t the Tsunami, Iraq, like a third world country. It’s not. And because it’s not the enormity of this tragedy shouldn’t have happened. There were warnings. There were studies and reports that went to both FEMA and Homeland Security. And for fucksake, there was money and an infrustructure to get people out. Again, the question of “why?” goes unanswered.

I feel numb. Numb from the anger, the hurt, and the extreme feeling of helplessness. I want answers even though at this point it’s too late for maybe thousands for answers. How can I feel numb and angry and pained over this all at the same time?

I’m rambling. I know I am. I don’t know what else to do. Give money. Alright. Done. Now what? Now what, Mr. Bush? Shall I play golf or go out and raise some money for more partisan politics? Shall I send out a search team for Dick Cheney because I haven't seen or heard fuckall from that bastard on this situation and he's the fucking Vice President? So, tell me what should I do? There is nothing I can do right now, but I guarantee that when I’m no longer completely numb and full of disbelief my anger will be rage.

One last question for Mr. Bush and all of his cronies (not that the morons will even understand it)~ Who is John Galt?

A Tragedy All It's Own

I have been, as most people have, the tragedy and destruction that Hurricane Katrina left in its wake. Entire towns have been demolished and so many American’s lives have been turned upside down. It’s tragic and it hits so close to home. I have been to many of the places that are now under water or damaged from the storm. It’s strange to see bridges and roads that I’ve been on in such a mess. I think of how beautiful a city Mobile is and how much different it’s going to be after all the water subsides. All I can do is watch and process and hope that the areas hit can recover.
Aside from my hoping that these areas can recover I am amazed at the way the people in charge are reacting and the thoughtless words they are using to describe the scene. Through my shock, I’ve been watching and listening to the words that people are using to describe the situation and it blows me away. The comparisons that people are making disturb me and baffle me that they can be serious. It’s going to take me a while to really choose my words for this post because I do feel the tragedy of this and don’t want to discount it, but at the same time I also see the hypocrisy of the words that are being used to describe this event. I don’t know what to do other than sort out the quotes and write what comes to mind immediately.
“It’s like downtown Baghdad.” Alright. Yes, there is devastation on a catastrophic scale. There is no dispute about that. However, the deaths in Iraq are in the tens of thousands and they are all man made. There are not currently bullets and bombs flying about murdering people on the destroyed streets of Biloxi. And while there are the dead they are not the parts and pieces that regularly litter the streets of Baghdad. They are different. Not the same at all and in no way does it resemble something on THIS scale. There is no constant threat of death looming over the people in New Orleans or Biloxi right now. There are evacuation efforts to get people out safely in Louisiana and Mississippi. Where do the people in Iraq go for safety?
“This is our tsunami.” O.K. While yes, they are both natural disasters it’s insulting to compare the loss of 200,000+ people to a death toll of less than 150. It’s also comparing a situation where NO ONE had warning to a situation where there were days of warning and evacuation efforts prior to the catastrophe. I’m sorry, but there is no amount of property worth comparing to the loss of so many innocent lives. Its absurdist and reactionary to even try to make the comparison and it bothers me that someone has even thought to do so.
“It’s like being in a 3rd world country.” What the fuck? No, it’s like being in a 1st world country that has undergone a major natural disaster. In time the people will either move or rebuild and the cities that were affected will return. Yes, it will take a lot of time and historic places that were destroyed can’t be recovered, but the cities will rebuild. I ask this, where will the 3rd world countries be in that same amount of time? How much could be done in actual 3rd world countries with the billions of dollars that is being estimated to cover the damage Katrina did? Will the people in Mississippi still be worried about simple diseases killing their families in a few years? Will they have to worry about starvation now or in the future? No, they won’t. So, no it’s not at all like being in a 3rd world country where there isn’t anything to rebuild, where human rights are oppressed, and the chance of living past 50 is almost zero because of either disease or famine. What it is? It’s living in the United States and having an opportunity to rebuild and being able to envision a future.
My thoughts and wishes go out for the people in the wake of Katrina. They also go out to all those who live in conditions everyday of their lives worse than what most of the evacuees are dealing with. It’s not a comparison. They are different and both unbelievably and remarkably tragic.

But Pat Robertson said it's o.k....

Pat Robertson, one of the loudest and most obnoxious voices of the religious, right has now declared that he’s in support of assassinating the Venezuelan president. Yes, that’s right KILLING someone is his Christian answer to someone he sees as a threat. His claim is that Hugo Chavez is a threat by bringing communism AND Islamic extremism to our Southern border. Can someone please pull out a map and perhaps a Political Science 101 book out for Mr. Robertson?

Now to be honest and fair I haven’t been keeping up with the situation in Venezuela. The basics I do know are that we get a lot of petroleum from them (it’s their main export to the U.S.) and that President Chavez has political ties with Fidel Castro. Even so I’m having a hard time understanding how political ties equate to over throwing the current government system and raging up through central America to infest the U.S. with his political ideology. I recall that our government has ties with both Islamic AND communist states, but so far Mr. Robertson hasn’t insinuated that our president be offed because of them. I’m also having a not hard but impossible time understanding how someone who is hell bent on a political state like communism would also be open to something so much to the political opposite as Islamic extremism. If anything Pat Robertson’s Christian extremism is more to the same pole as Islamic extremism than either a Federal Republic (the current system in Venezuela) OR communism. Can anyone clarify this contradiction in his reasoning for me? Also, can someone explain how killing the President of a country that we have major oil imports from AND a lot of Americans travelling there as tourist is going to beneficial in anyway?

It’s my belief that Pat Robertson’s extremist Christian ideals (that apparently allow for murdering someone) and ignorance on basic political theory and geography qualify him to shut the fuck up. I’m tired of the media giving such morons with absurd and extremist “us vs. them” ideas sensationalist attention and perpetuating the hatred and fear that this administration is using to support it’s agenda. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know I answered my own questions. Bastards…

Meme-ories

I'm slow and this was a hard one. Abby sent me a link to her meme and now I've done my own. WooT! Thanks Abby!

1. Where I was ten years ago~
I was married to Kevin (my now ex-husband) and living in Hephzibah, GA (a small suburb of Augusta) and about 8 ½ months pregnant with my first child, Geoffrey. I wasn’t working so spent my days doing a lot of nothing and hanging out with my two dogs.

2. Where I was five years ago~
I was living in Stone Mountain, GA with Kevin, Geoffrey and Bronte. I worked for TruGreen LandCare. I think I was training for the Avon Breast Cancer 3Day walk. It seems like much longer than 5 years ago. It was another lifetime.

3. Where I was one year ago~
I had just moved to Colorado Springs with Geoffrey and Bronte and was working at Red Noland Infiniti selling cars. I was really trying to find a niche in C/S where I fit, but it just never gelled.

4. Where I was yesterday~
I was at the Dr. with Bronte getting her chin stitched up after she fell on the playground at school. Poor poppette. She’s fine though.

5. Where I am today~
At work. Sort of working. I rode my bike in. This evening I’m going with my friend Anita for a pedicure. Yay!!

6. Where I will be tomorrow~
We are going for crepes in the morning at work and then I’ll be in my office tomorrow afternoon. I have nothing planned in the evening.

• 7. Five snacks I enjoy
  · Barbara’s Bakery Cheese Puffs
  · Braeburn apples with Nutella
  · Pitted fruit (apricots, nectarines, peaches, plums)
  · Luna bars
  · Rice Krispy treats
  
• 8. Five singers (or bands) for whom I know the lyrics to most of their songs:
  Only five? Hmmm…
  · Jack Johnson
  · Bob Marley
  · Nirvana
  · Foo Fighters
  · Incubus
  
• 9. Five things I would do with $100,000,000
  This is a lot of money. I usually dream with lesser amounts based on a tax free lump sum, but here it goes.
  · Pay off all my debt
  · Pay off my friends AND my mom & dad’s debt up to $100K. However, they’d all have to do some task that I assign based on personality as follows.
  o Dan- he’d have to submit a spankin’ new resume and prove he submitted it to at least 10 different places. Once he’d secured a new job he’d have to shave his head AND he’d have to wear a Utilitikilt (I’d provide several) around for a month.
  o Abby- I want her to cook for me, but she makes some crazy stuff so I might have to pre-approve the menu. Also, she’d have to sing for Geoffrey & Bronte’s school one time.
  o Frisbee girl- she would have to go one week without biting her tongue. Everytime she wanted to say something back to anyone she’d have to and she’d have to let me video tape the entire week.
  o Scissors- he would have to take two weeks off work and go on vacation with me. No exceptions and NO WORK!!
  o Mynxy- She would let me pick out her clothes for a week. She’s such a doll that she should have to play dress up with me. Yay!! And at the end of the week we would have a PJ party w/ the whole crew.
  o Pecan- he would have to answer me honestly and upfront for the rest of his life. No more beating around the bush or flat out not answering direct questions. And he’d have to throw away his Crocs.
  o Steph- She would have to promise to get a babysitter and get out of the house for at least 8 hours a week. It could be broken up however she wanted, but 8 hours would be the minimum “Steph time.”
  o Mom- she’d have to promise to never send me another forwarded cutsie e-mail ever, ever, ever again.
  o Dad- he’d have to make me a whole lot of furniture (I’d buy the wood)
  · purchase a house in South Africa, a loft on Portrero Hill, and a loft in Denver
  · invest, invest, invest
  · get my teaching certificate and teach middle school. Yes, I’m insane.
  

10. Five locations I would like to run away to:
South Africa, the hot springs in Iceland, Zanzibar, Mexico, Stockholm

• 11. Five bad habits I have:
  · leaving my shoes all over the house wherever I happen to take them off
  · not letting go of people/situations when I know I should. I obsess.
  · messing w/ my zits. I know I should leave them alone, but they bug the hell out of me. I can’t help it. Why won’t they go away?!
  · checking my phone for text or voice messages…ALL the TIME. It’s more of a nervous habit than a bad habit, but I suppose it might annoy other people.
  · my net addiction. I admit I’m addicted. Deal.
  
• 12. Five things I like doing
  · tribing
  · hanging out with my kids doing things like bike riding and watching them skateboard, roller blade
  · cooking a big meal
  · reading
  · eating
  
• 13. Five TV shows I like
  · Miami Tattoo
  · Myth Busters
  · The Andy Milonakis show
  · Overhaulin’
  · Sex in the City on DVD
  

14. Five famous people I’d like to meet:
I can’t pick any. I’ve been trying. Here’s why. The people I really admire that are famous I wouldn’t want to meet because I want to keep admiring them and it might ruin the ideal of who they are. The other famous people I can think of don’t really interest me enough to make me want to spend time with them.

• 15. My biggest joys
  · my children
  · spending time with the people I love deeply
  · my sweet Max and all his clowny boxer antics
  · riding around in my Yeep with the top down
  · gardening, even though I haven’t had much opportunity over the last year. I love planting things and then taking care of them so they grow and make my surroundings beautiful.
  
  

Pick one!

This morning I received a call from the Denver Public School that my children will be attending this year. It seems that I made a mistake when filling out their registration paperwork. The mistake? I apparently had the audacity to list them as more than one ethnicity in the absence of an “other” category, so could I please choose just one. So, how exactly am I supposed to respond to this? I have instilled in my children that they are a variety of ethnicities and they should be proud of them all, so how can I, in good conscious, pick only one? I’m fairly angry that I’m having to make this decision in the year 2005. Why is this even still an issue? How is it that the city of Denver still finds it necessary to categorize people into ONE ethnicity? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. And then I’m going to push until the form is changed. A form that is supposed to report ethnic statistics that doesn’t have more than 4 distinct categories is hardly accurate and as far as I can see fairly discriminatory. Funny how this was never a problem when I lived in the South.
To be continued…

Overwhelmed

Right now things are good. Very good. But somehow it's all overwhelming somehow. I have a new job that I think I'm going to like a lot. Granted it's going to be a lot of stuff I've done before, but since the company is so new a lot of the process and procedure stuff I'll own. It will be mine. That's awesome, but at the same time there is the newness of it that makes it a lot.
The children are in a Day Camp that they enjoy and I think for the most part takes good care of them. The problem is that it's a LOT out of the way that I'm at my new job. 15-20 mins there and then the same back. Twice a day. In order to get to work on time I have to leave the house at 7 a.m. Yeah, this is only four weeks, but it feels like that will be a very long time.
It's just adjusting. Once the kids start school we'll be able to get into a more comfortable routine and it will be fine. I know it will. I just have to be patience with myself, the schedule and time. Something I'm really not good at.
Even so, what a problem. Kids that are happy and a good job that actually pays me well and has good benefits. I am a lucky girl. Now I just need to get my ass to bed so that I can be rested enough to enjoy it all.

Lemonade! Ice Cold Lemonade!

Today was the second time my children had a lemonade stand. They are becoming quite the entrepreneurs. We are discussing the various aspects of business as we go. We have discussed advertising and marketing. And we are about to discuss overhead. They are currently making a list of what products they had to use and are arguing about whether water counts as one of the products. We have discussed putting money back into your business before, but I think it's going to have to be repeated. We have also had the chance to discuss measurements. I've notice that a lot of people don't know measurements.
Um.....I'm not sure what my point is here. I think just that I wish that I had had someone to discusss this stuff with me when I was little. It would have given me some basic concepts a lot earlier to build on. I guess that makes the point that there are so many things that I think parents forget their children need to know. It's easy to not remember all the basic things when there is so much out there telling us what's important. The right shoes, the right soccer team, the right school...etc. What does all that matter when we are forgetting to teach our kids about how far "please" and "thank you" can get them? Or how important it is to invest in yourself and the things that will make you more money? Or how much work it can be to get something rewarding? I really hope that exercises like having my kids sell lemonade teach them some of this. I have to remember that school is important, but that everyday life has a lot of important lessons as well.

I'm so proud of my little patriot

My sweet little girl wrote a song about how much she loves her country in class. When she presented it to her teacher it was decided that they would sing it in the school parade. I am so proud of her. What a sweet little patriot I have. Here is a copy of the final version:

America (sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping?")

Oh, America! Oh, America!
How I love you. How I love you.
Everybody loves you, too. Everybody loves you, too.
la, la, la. la, la, la.

Oh, America! Oh, America!
We love you. We love you.
You are true. You are true.
la, la, la. la, la, la.

Oh, America! Oh, America!
We love the flag. We love the flag
You wave so proudly. You wave so proudly.
la, la, la. la, la, la.

Oh, America! Oh, America!
We love you. We love you.
RED, WHITE AND BLUE.
RED, WHITE AND BLUE.
USA! USA!!

hmmm...

i don't have much to say. i'm really overwhelmed. things will be fine. i know this. just right now i'm sort of stunned into silence.

Doctor 'n shit

Congrats, Dr. Abby!!!
I knew you'd get through your defense w/ no problems. Now it's time to relax and pack all of your stuff, egg a certain neighbors door and move to Boston!!!

WooT!!!

living in an empty house

You know it's kind of nice to not have any furniture. I know I have a whole apartment of it in Denver, but somehow just not having stuff for a bit is a good change. It's fun to be able to do a cartwheel in the living room or lay on the floor and just roll about tickling the kids. I feel like I'm getting away with something.

On the job note things are really starting to look good. Moving fast and I like that. I am feeling a bit less stressed even than this morning and that's a good thing. I have a few positions that look really appealing applied for so we will see. Even better I'm getting some bites. WooT!

Lastly, one of my good friends is in love. He's stoooopid in love and I'm so happy for him. I mean like giddy happy for him. Shady, you totally deserve this. MWA! for you both and good luck. ;)

bored

How is it possible to be busy and this bored at the same time? I need more challenges and more things to reflect and write about. You know I've discovered that talking about history and poli sci are really two of my favorite things. Don't mistake that for modern politics and who is running for office. I mean political theory. Much more interesting than the practice. k..back to my boring job. fuck..I need a vacation and an interesting occupation.

Thank you Mr. McKinney

I *heart* Maya Swimwear!!! WooT!

Thank you so much to Mr. Dave McKinney for getting me such an awesome swim wardrobe. You are so awesome and the suits fit perfectly! Wooohoooo!! I love them, I love them, I love them!

Thanks Mr. McKinney!! 

where is spring?

When I moved back to Colorado I was prepared for snow from October until early April. I don't think it really started snowing until early November. It hasn't stopped yet. There were little flakes floating about yesterday and it feels like it could snow more tonight. I want Spring! I want it NOW! I got so spoiled in Atlanta. Fuck, why did I move back again? I need to stop asking that question because the bottom line is that I did and I can't go back. Still, I want Spring. This cold is for the freakin' birds. It makes me cranky.

On a much funnier note I woke to the sound of doggie toenails on the wood flooring this morning. clickity-clickity-clickity. I couldn't figure out what Max was up to so I sat up and looked at his bed. No Max. clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity Still no sign of the dog. Then I realized that the sound was coming from under me. He was under the bed. Stuck. Yes, he had for some reason made his way under the bed and had gotten stuck. He couldn't get enough leverage on the slippery floor to pull himself out. So, I got out of bed and pulled him from under it. He seemed fairly happy to not be under the bed anymore. Fortunately I was able to get back to sleep for a few minutes before the evil alarm sounded. Another Monday.

hi

Three weeks until we move. Just three. Well, all our stuff will be moved next weekend, but for us to be permanent residents of Denver it's 3. I'm sitting among partially and completely filled boxes that contain bits of my life. Things that I've found important enough to keep or things that make life a little more interesting or comfortable. I'm so spoiled and have so much from a global perspective. I forget that sometimes. I forget that having a pencil in some places is a rare thing and yet we have boxes of them. Pencils.

It's cold again today. Cold with tiny little snowflakes whirling about on the breeze. I want May 1 to be warm and full of flowers and fresh springy air. Not bitter and snide.

While packing I found a letter I wrote on a napkin as we were making our way to Colorado. I was so full of hoping that the move was going to go well. I was so sure that the familiarity of the place would make the transition easier. I forgot that while the place is the same I'm not. So, I don't recognize here anymore and it certainly didn't recognize me. Better to move on.

Alright, I'm done rambling. This is why I haven't posted much. Fear of the lame ramble.

stress

There is one thing that is constant in my life. Stress. Certainly the level fluctuates, but it's always there. Is there enough money? What are the kids doing? etc. Right now my stress is sort of in the red zone. With the move there is the continual worry that I won't have enough money, or that things won't work out just right, or that I won't find a job. And I can look back at the past and say, "Hey, I've always done o.k. I've always survived and made it. Why would this be any different?" Somehow that doesn't seem to reduce the stress level or calm my fears. Then I call a friend and they say, "Smoooochie, you have always landed on your feet. You are super resourceful. So, how will this situation be any different?" And then I'm alright. I feel calmed and the stress, while not gone, is less. Why is it that I believe it when it's an external source, but question it when it's internal? Is this where my lack of self-esteem kicks in? Does it matter as long as I have awesome friends to remind me that I'm really an able person? Sure am glad that I do.