Relationships are hard

Relationships are hard. Even relationships with “things” that we use everyday. The relationship that I constantly am challenged by is my relationship with money. My attempt to gain a strong and good relationship with money is not only fueled by my desire to be comfortable, but also by my desire to create a good start for my children so they don’t have the struggle learning the basics and beyond.
My earliest memory regarding money is one of immediacy and lack of. I think I was around 5. I was very young. My grandmother had mentioned that I needed a new coat at some point so the next time we were at the store I saw one I loved. Being the girl that I am I felt that I really needed this coat. My grandmother said that we couldn’t buy the coat because we didn’t have enough money right then. I was heartbroken. I begged and pleaded. I cried, but alas we didn’t get the coat. She said that we could come back and get the coat later. We did come back. She knew how much I wanted THAT coat. We went back as soon as she had money for it. The coat was gone. Since that day I remember thinking of how if I wanted something I needed to get it then or it would be gone. Obviously, money played a big factor in that disappointment and how I dealt with money. It was most definitely a defining event in my life.
After my divorce and freedom to guide my own finances the fear of things being gone if I didn’t get the immediately was added to with the fear that I wasn’t in control. I am afraid that my children have witnessed this “bad” relationship that I have and I’m sure it’s affected them in some way. My job as their mother is to fix that AND give them a positive idea and knowledge of dealing with money. I don’t want them to think of money as a way to gain “things” or feel the immediacy that lost left in me. I want them to think of money as a tool that they can use to gain wealth, secure their present and future, and of course to provide the things that they want in life.
There are a lot of pieces and parts to this puzzle. Earning money, taxes (yeah they have to learn this one don’t they?), saving, investing, credit, debt, etc. It’s a lot. It’s a whole lot and it seems that each of the parts has so many little pieces that it’s almost overwhelming. The advantage is that I have years. Years to explain to them all the various aspects as they grow and see me regain a good relationship with money. Years for them to experience the earning, taxes, savings, loans (because college isn’t free), etc. with me to at least give them some piece of whatever I’ve learned.
I realize now how important learning about money is. I wish I could have learned this lesson back when I was growing up, but I think it’s key that I’ve learned it at all.