mystery seasoning and work

Until now I’ve really tried to leave work off my blog. Mostly because my job is less than gratifying and I’d really rather just leave it IRL. Also, if I complain too much I could really get fired and while it’s not my ideal job it does pay the bills and I’m not out working in the cold. That being said this is actually more about co-workers than my actual job.
First off, I know this isn’t always the most exciting of places, but I’d really, really appreciate it if my co-workers could simply stay awake for the entire 8 hours that they are here. I think this bothers me because for the most part I have at least 8 hours worth of work to keep me occupied and it just sort of pisses me off that they have time to sleep. Look, if it’s going to be alright for her (she’s hardly subtle) to take a siesta then my half-spanic ass wants one, too!
Secondly, stop asking me to your freaky “start up business” parties. I don’t want weird overpriced mystery seasonings that don’t have the ingredients listed. For the most part, I like to know what I’m eating, thank you. Also, the candle and home decorating parties are just not for me. I don’t know if they’ve noticed but I’m not in line for the Martha Stewart wannabe contest. I don’t want to go spend more time with anyone who actually is or for that matter anyone who would purchase the above listed items unless they were under familial duress to do so. Relatives have a way of suckering you into buying these things without you wanting to, but co-workers…not so much.
Third, I don’t want to sign up to bring food into the office on the whim of another person. I would highly appreciate my co-workers not assuming that I want to do a “themed” potluck without getting an office consensus on such a thing. I don’t want to eat anything they’ve made with the mystery seasoning and breakfast burritos make me want to vomit. Also, these things take time and effort when you aren’t predisposed to using prepackaged crap. If they really want me to bring something I’m bringing bacon. Period. Just bacon. I’m kind enough to bring bagels and schmear in every now and then out of the blue. They need to just say thank you and STFU.
Lastly, I am considerate enough to tell the PTA to shove it and just give them a donation every year so my kids and I are not tortured with taking a gift catalogue about and pressuring family and coworkers into buying a bunch of shit they don’t really want just so my kids can get some crap prizes that will break on the first day. I can actually buy them much better crap from a vending machine for two quarters instead. I know this is probably asking a lot, but I really would like for them to keep all that selling crap out of the office. I don’t need “quality” gift wrap. I don’t need a bow making kit. I am not buying annoying cow shaped lotion dispensers. I don’t need the freakin’ mystery seasoning that schools have joined the bandwagon on. What I need is to just grab the first catalogue offered and shred it. BAM! Is that clear enough?

Alright. My rant is done.